I've debated whether or not I should start a blog for this journey we're just beginning. I keep asking the questions: will it be just one more burden on my long list of to-do's? Will I have the time to keep up with it? What if I don't have the patience to make the entries interesting or fun read?
Obviously I've made up my mind to go for it. At least for now! I may not have a lot of time or patience to pour into it, but I'm going to at least attempt to get a few thoughts down for family and friends who may be interested in the crazy adventure we've gotten ourselves into.
As you probably already know, two months ago, my husband Mike got a job offer working in the foreign service for the State Department. We had a month to decide weather or not we wanted to take it. At that point, the only details we knew about the job was that 1. We would be assigned to one of nine different posts around the world, including countries like Brazil, South Africa, Bahrain, Thailand, etc. And 2. Mike would have to travel for the job.
I may have to dedicate a whole post to how much faith it took to make the decision to go. There were so many questions and even more worries - at least on my part. Um, where the heck are we going to live? How much exactly would Mike be traveling? Would we be safe? I'm 7 months pregnant - where and how am I going to have this baby??? Along those lines...
We've wanted to work for the Foreign Service for years now, but one of the reasons the decision was so difficult was that this particular job wasn't the way we planned on doing it. Mike wasn't even aware this position existed until it was offered to him, so it was a whole mind shift for us both. Another element to our decision process was the fact that we were the most comfortable we'd ever been in our lives. Living in a great home, in a great neighborhood, with great friends, great jobs, great schools, everything was GREAT. Did we really want to give up a really good thing for something completely unknown?
Well, I guess by now, you know the answer to THAT question....we ended up receiving just enough reassurances in miraculous ways that coaxed us into taking the gamble. We had about 3 weeks to get our affairs in order to move, a week to drive to Washington DC, a month in DC to receive training and our assigned post, and now here we are in Germany.
So now for an update on the crazy, emotional, whirlwind week we've had. I guess I'll start with getting here...The eight-hour long flight here wasn't bad, (even though the German-speaking man next to me had thick, hairy arms that kept jabbing my pregnant belly). While Mike and I adjusted our uncomfortable neck pillows all night, the kids actually slept surprisingly well. And as all we parents know, if the kids are asleep, the trip is going to be good regardless...
We all stumbled off the plane at around 2:30am USA time, 8:30am local time. After filing through customs and picking up our massive pile of ten suitcases, we met our driver who took us through the city to our new home. Well, it's not quite our new home yet. It's a temporary home on an American compound where we'll stay until our apartment (located about a mile away) is ready in about a week from now.
When we first arrived, we were all (especially Mom and Dad) in a zombie-like haze. The next couple days, were kind of a blur, but they went something like this:
- Entering a suffocatingly hot house - asking questions like "Is the heater on? Does this place have AC?" Finding out it doesn't. . .
- No internet or cell phone service to communicate with anyone, including Mike when he left for work training the day after we arrived.
- No soap to wash hands. No soap to do dishes. No soap to do laundry. No soap to take a shower.
- Sweating a lot.
- Finding out German tap water has a lot of sediment in it, so Germans don't drink it. Feeling freaked out about the water and drinking a minimal amount to survive.
- Grumpy tired kids. Very pregnant Momma - also grumpy.
- Taking a trip to the local grocery store a block away where everything's in German, and we make a lot of guesses.
- Checking out all our groceries including the much needed soap, bottled water and other basic living supplies. Reaching the cashier only to find out the store doesn't take American credit cards.
- Feeling like a bunch of fools putting it all back.
- Finally getting the previously mentioned soap from a different store.
- Possibly using swear words when we can't figure out how to use the dish washer, washer/dryer, stove tops or the oven, all of which have a million German words and crazy little symbols that mean nothing to us.
- Finally getting the bottled water I feel safe enough to drink. Finding out the said bottled water was actually nasty, gross, nasty carbonated mineral water (Germans apparently love their carbonated water).
- Me walking several blocks to the park on the compound to 1: be able to use the only known wi-fi available so I can communicate with my husband, and 2: to meet someone, perhaps another nice mom, who I could befriend and coax into teaching me the art of using the appliances in my apartment.
- Spending 2 hours at the park without another woman in sight. (Okay, there were actually a few people who walked past, outside the park gate that I tried to talk to, but after attempting to approach several of them and being ignored, I decided they might not speak English and stopped trying).
- Looking up schools for the boys to go to, but finding out we won't have our van for AT LEAST another month.
- Having everyone tell me the transportation is so easy here, "Just take the bus or U-bahn!"
- Looking up the only school the boys qualify for since we came here so last minute, and finding out there's no straight shot on the bus or U-bahn to get there. Further realizing I'll have to drag my three kids to the bus stop, have them sit on a bus or metro, switch stops, take another bus or metro, get off and walk several more blocks to the school. Knowing I'll have to do this while I'm super pregnant, dealing with sporadic pelvic symphysis pains that make it nearly impossible to walk when it flares up, and even when I'm feeling good, having a really hard time carrying my youngest two-year-old who only wants to walk these days.
- Getting a rental car that ends up being way more expensive than expected.
- Me driving the rental car through the city to practice getting familiar with the roads and traffic signals here.
- Me exclaiming: "What the heck are all these different lines on the road for?" "Why are there no signs at this intersection? Am I supposed to yield or what??" "There is literally no parking anywhere." "The GPS wants me to go WHERE? There cannot be enough room on this road for me to get through!" (side note: I get through, but bikers are yelling angrily at me to move over, even though I'm positive I'll hit the cars on the other side). Oh and also: "Why does this sign say U-turn when there isn't room to U-turn?" (Meanwhile, the driver behind me is yelling at me and probably swearing in German because I have to back up in order to make the turn).
- Me wondering if I'll ever feel comfortable driving, let alone parking, here.
By day three or four, both Mike and I were feeling pretty exasperated. Even the simplest of things seemed so hard. Not only did we feel lost in a culture and language we didn't understand, but the transition of living in a busy, big city was also kind of an assault on our senses. I think it wouldn't have felt SO overwhelming if we were from a place like New York City or even downtown DC (We lived in Arlington the month before we came here, but even that felt less busy and easier to get around). We've just always lived in places with fairly spacious roads, open parking spaces at businesses, and more convenient ways of getting things done (for example, having elevators to more easily transport kids in strollers, rather than lugging a stroller up and down stairs. And having bags at grocery stores to take food home in rather than cramming them all in the bottom of your stroller that's already about to bust at the seams -things like that). I think it's also safe to say that having three children under five and being almost 8 months pregnant has made the transition a little more complicated than if our kids were older and I could maneuver around more easily...
There is good news however! While we still obviously have a long way to go before we feel completely adjusted, a couple days ago, things began to settle down and fall into place. There was a point when we no longer felt we were in crisis mode, and ever since then, we've felt more and more at peace and less and less like, "AH! I HATE THIS!". These small steps towards normalcy have included:
- Making a couple friends to hang out with and talk to.
- Discovering the maintenance office on the compound and convincing one of the guys to come over to our apartment even though it was 4:30pm on a Friday and having him show us how to use all our appliances. (Apparently a special valve had to be opened for the dish washer. Also, there is a button in the kitchen that turns on the gas for the oven - who knew?)
- Finding out we get a discount on our rental car and it won't be near as expensive as we feared.
- Getting more practice driving and feeling more comfortable (although I think I'll still avoid certain parts of downtown unless I get myself a smart car).
- Fixing the settings on my phone so that I can at least text my husband without wi-fi.
- Gaining access to the Commissary on Base where we can buy products that we don't have to google translate names for.
- Buying a water filter.
- Visiting the school our boys will be going to and feeling a huge wave of relief - like it will be an amazing experience for them.
- Setting up an appointment with my new OB and knowing my baby and I will be well taken care of.
- Having two new friends tell me they are willing to take the kids in case of an emergency where I'd need to go to the hospital.
- Finding out our new home will have a direct public transportation route to the boys' new school and if needed, it would be much easier to use than we previously thought.
- Taking a U-Bahn trip downtown and exploring the historic Frankfurt Dome and tourist shops.
- Discovering delicious German chocolate at the local grocery store.
- Learning simple words and phrases in German (including "mit Kohlensäure" meaning "carbonated"). Also successfully using German to ask for directions or say "Entschuldigung, sprechen sie English?"
- Discovering a community room at the top of our very own apartment building that has a play room for the kids and free wi-fi so I don't have to walk several blocks every time I want to communicate with people.
- Discovering a writing group that meets in the same community room and attending a meeting where I met nice, fellow writers.
- Getting signed up for internet and phone services, which will make it possible for me to make calls from my own home (because while the upstairs room is great, it's also 4 stories above me, and I don't mean to whine about the whole pregnant with three kids things again, but...it's for real).
- Simply knowing things will be getting easier very soon.
Well that's our first week in Germany! Tomorrow we plan to make our first trip to a local castle. Even with how crazy we've felt, we're still determined to take every available opportunity to travel and explore, come what may!
Stay tuned for more updates in the coming weeks!
