The worst of times, and then the best of times...I think I'm seeing a theme

Time has been going by crazy fast. I can’t believe it’s already been over a month since my last post. I kept thinking I should write another update, but didn’t really know where to begin, so I continued putting it off. Finally today, I decided to just write whatever I have time for and see what comes out.

So I guess I’ll start with what happened after my mom went back home and Mike started going back to work. That magical phase of having post-baby help was sadly coming to an end. My mom had helped me so much around the house and with the kids. I had many friends help with meals. Mike had used all his leave to stay home with me after my mom left. It had all been wonderful! But now it was time for things to go back to “normal”. Time to kick myself in gear, get organized and find a way to keep things going without help. I started taking the boys to and from school again, along with my other two in tow. I resumed laundry and dishes and meals and all the other house duties. When Mike was home, he did all he could to help me, but then he was off on another work trip and I was on my own again. 

Well, very shortly into this new routine, I woke up one morning in a lot of pain. I also had a fever and chills and knew instantly what was probably going on: My wound from the delivery had become infected.  Mike had left a few hours earlier on another work trip- one where he couldn’t be contacted for around 24 hours. Of course. 

So I got up, got the boys ready for school, and took all the kids to drop them off. The pain and aches continued to worsen, so once I got home, I called a woman from our church and asked if she could watch my kids while I went to the doctor. Even though I barely knew her, she was so gracious and came.

The doctor confirmed my infection and wrote me a prescription for antibiotics and a few other things to help. I was able to walk to a nearby pharmacy to pick them up shortly before it closed, thank goodness. 

That night, I started on the medication and went to bed feeling horrible, but hopeful tomorrow would be a better day. Mike would be coming home after all. Well, the next morning, my wound infection seemed to be getting a little better, but now I woke up with a terrible sore throat. When I looked in the mirror and opened my mouth, what I saw completely freaked me out. My tonsils were enormous and covered in a nasty layer of black and white infection.  I’m pretty sure I shouted “WHAT THE H___ IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY!” Time to go to the doctor again. 

The doctor at the consulate was concerned and sent me to the hospital. I came home, fed the baby, then took a taxi to the hospital. At the hospital, the secretary told me I needed 50 euro cash to be seen. Great. So I took a taxi home, fed the baby again, and took a taxi back to the hospital. The attending physician looked at my tonsils and told me I needed to go to a different hospital about 30 minutes away to see an ENT.  

So…I took a taxi home, fed my baby, packed her in the van and drove to this other hospital outside of town (Thankfully there was parking). At the hospital, the ENT advised me to continue taking the antibiotics I had already been on for the wound infection. She told me to give it one or two more days and if my throat wasn’t getting better, I would need to be admitted to the hospital to take IV antibiotics for a few days.

Oh man, how I prayed I wouldn’t have to do THAT. What would I do with my tiny new baby? Would she be able to come with me? Would it like my labor/delivery hospital stay? (My experience wasn’t the greatest).  Would I still be able to breastfeed with all these crazy antibiotics?  It all felt SO incredibly stressful.  The goal was just to get better so I wouldn’t have to worry about any of that.

So, I literally followed every single suggestion anyone had given me. I was taking essential oils every hour under the direction of my oil-master sister from back home. I was taking the antibiotics exactly on time. I was eating absolutely zero sugar (because I know that can make infections worse). I was taking sitz baths and using all the other medications my doctor had prescribed to the T. Oh, and I was also praying a LOT. 

Then one or two days later, I remember thinking, “Well, crap. I am not feeling better. My throat kills. It still looks horrible. Maybe I should just go to the hospital, get the IV antibiotics over with, and just get better already.” Well, then I had the feeling to wait just a LITTLE longer. And a couple hours later, all that slough on my tonsils came off at once. Gross? Yes, but that was my sign that it was going to be okay after all. 

Whew! So the end of the story is that eventually, my body healed. I was so grateful to be feeling better again. However, everyone was telling me, from my doctor, to my mom, to my friends, that I needed to get some help moving forward. With Mike constantly traveling, a 6-week-old baby, and four young kids in general, it was (and is) a lot of stress–mental and physical.

So...I called the relief society president from my church. (FYI: The relief society is a woman's organization in my church that's designed to serve others in need. It's the biggest woman's organization in the entire world, and it's pretty amazing!) The next week or so, a few wonderful women came over and watched my girls while I took my boys to school. They made me dinners and helped me get my kids to bed while Mike was gone. It helped me so much and I was (am) really grateful for their selfless service! After that, I was then 7 weeks post-partum and feeling pretty good. Mike was home for Christmas break so I had a couple "easy" weeks ahead. But looking into the future, I started asking around and pondering a lot about what I could do to “get some help” in the long-run as well. More on that later. 

The boys were out of school on Christmas break as well so we all got to be home together for a couple weeks of Christmas family fun time. It was wonderful!

We went to a couple Christmas markets, which, holy smokes, Christmas markets in Germany are so cool! Christmas lights, dancing displays, train rides, hot cocoa stands, an infinite variety of handmade treats, wooden trinkets, and warm food. I am seriously already counting down to next December! Just before Christmas, I snuck to one a couple towns over sans kids (well, I DID take the baby but she slept the whole time). It was so fun to explore the shops, sample food, sip warm cider, and shop. Some Christmas Market pics below.

My brother who lives in Doha, Qatar, also happened to be here for a couple days in between his own work travels, so it was great to see him during that time as well. 

Christmas itself was a lot of fun too. The kids seemed to really enjoy all their gifts. In between all that had gone on the last few weeks, I really wanted them to make some presents for each other so they could practice giving instead of just receiving. So they worked on little presents the previous weeks and that turned out so cute and fun for all of us. 

Right after Christmas, our friends, the Kuhle’s came to visit. These were some of our best friends who had lived in D.C. with us a few years ago. By some crazy coincidence, they came to live in Germany the same time as we did, only 3 hours away. So we spent New Year’s together and it was just a great time. We went to a local dinosaur museum that has the most amazing collection of birds I’ve ever seen, took the kids to an indoor playground, played board games after kids went to bed, and had so much fun. Ooh, we also went on a walk to the cemetery. Okay, let me tell you about this cemetery real quick…

So, we have this GIANT cemetery in walking distance to our house. (See pics below). About a month and a half ago, we decided to check it out because from the road it looked really beautiful and cool. Now it’s our favorite place to go on walks. Inside is a labyrinth of dirt trails, stone steps, moss-covered statues, monuments, gardens, and candles lighting the tombstones. Surrounding everything is tall trees drooping with ivy vines. It’s like taking a stroll through an enchanted wood, and on each walk, we discover something new (yesterday it was a cluster of cross-shaped tombstones from world war 1).

Anyway, after our friends left, we all got sick again. This time a nasty cold. The kids and I were stuck inside for about 2 weeks. Poor Mike had to travel despite a sore throat and cough. For me, it was actually a good excuse to get more rest. We stayed in our jammies pretty much all day every day and  watched way too much TV.  I tried not to feel too much mom guilt for that…

But by the time the boy’s school started up again last Monday (they had a whole THREE weeks off-we were all getting pretty restless by the end of it), we were finally all feeling better. It is SUCH a blessing to feel well. Let’s have it stay that way!

Yesterday Mike’s family came to visit for a day on their way to South Africa, so that was really nice to see and spend time with them. His parents are coming back in a couple weeks to spend more time here, so we are looking forward to that. 

And now here we are, back in the swing of things. Mike is traveling pretty regularly again. The boys are in school. I am feeling healthy again. Our baby girl is now about 2 ½ months old (I cannot believe that!). She is eating, growing, and even sleeping so well. For the last 2 weeks now, she has slept through the night every night but one. Last night, that girl slept 11 hours in a row. Thank you thank you thank you baby girl for being a good sleeper so far! (P.s. I can’t help but shout it on the rooftops that the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” has saved our lives because I’ll be forever grateful for the friends who recommended it to us before we had our twins). 

Anyway, I finally feel like we are settling in here and getting a good routine. And also…I’m really starting to like Germany! Once you get over the fact that random strangers scold you on a regular basis, that you’ll have to parallel park almost daily, that paying doctor bills is a huge hassle, that gas is out-of-this-world expensive, that many places aren’t kid friendly, and that you may get eyerolls for not speaking German, it’s actually a way cool place. The parks here are beautiful and amazing, with sculptures and crazy cool playground equipment. The forests are old and gorgeous and filled with mist. The doner kebabs are delicious and my absolute favorite. The bakeries (including the one right across the street from us) have delicious chocolate-filled croissants. The Christmas markets, like I said earlier, are pure magic! The cheese, chocolate, and treats here are really good (chocolate-covered butter cookies and these chewy fruit candies I don’t know the name of are my favorite).  The swimming pools have giant slides and are super fun. The zoos allow you to be closer to the animals and to interact with them without employees hovering over you. There’s beautiful castles and cathedrals and centuries-old lookout towers on the hillsides. Everything is ancient and artistic.  Crime is low. People expect you to do the right thing, and so most everyone does. There’s a no-nonsense attitude and people tell you like it is. It’s kind of abrupt and intimidating at first. But in a way, I like it and it’s nice that everything is so straight forward. Also, we’ve met some awesome Germans! In fact, our German neighbors upstairs from us are the coolest. The other day, we had a table tennis tournament with them in the basement. It was so fun!

In the coming months, there’s a lot to look forward to. Spring isn’t far away now (I can’t WAIT to see how beautiful that will be!) and we have some fun travel plans ahead. We were actually hoping to go to Paris THIS weekend, but we couldn’t leave until Monday and would have had to take our boys out of school. Fun fact: It’s ILLEGAL to take your kids out of school, even ONE day, without a valid excuse here in Germany (P.S. Vacations are NOT a valid excuse). So even though my boys aren’t even in first grade yet, I guess we won’t break the law and take them out for a day or two 😉. Hopefully another weekend in the near future... P.S. When you live in Europe for only a couple years, there's an enormous amount of pressure to travel as much and as frequently as possible, because everything is close and it'll never be this easy again!

So anyway, going back to that whole getting help thing… Now that I’m back to being on my own much of the time, we have hired a couple young women from our church to come help me on some of the nights Mike is out of town.   We also hired someone to deep clean the house once a week. Both of them came for the first time last week and it was Just. Absolutely. Wonderful. 

Let me tell you, moving here has really taught me the importance of asking for help.  I have never asked for more help in my life than I have in the four months we’ve lived here. And it isn’t easy! It’s hard to ask for help because you almost feel this weird guilt that you should be doing it all yourself or you worry that other people say they do, but inside they don’t really want to help, or you worry of being judged, or that your problems and situation aren’t worthy of help. (Am I the only person who thinks this way?) I don’t know if I’ll ever get over those reservations, but the thing I’m learning is that really, in times of need, it’s more than okay to get help, it’s vital! Also, I’m trying to remember that people are looking for opportunities to serve and giving them that opportunity is a good thing. So lately, especially when people ask, “How can I help?”, I’ve been allowing myself to tell them what I need and then receive that help…

And also hire help. Hehehe :D

My only hope is that I can reach a point here where I feel like I can pay it forward and help others as much as they’ve helped me!

P.S. One more fun fact before I sign off: Because of the US Government shutdown going on, the consulate has run out of toilet paper. Check out the first paragraph in this article. Hey, that's us! Kind of funny... Looks like it will be "Bring your toilet paper to work day!" for Mike next week.