Life in the Foreign Service: December 2019

It’s been 15 months since we moved to Germany. I’m sitting here reflecting on all we’ve experienced in that time.

What a jolt it was when we first arrived. So many new ways of doing things. So many learning experiences. It’s been a really wild ride, and at times, much harder than we imagined. Nothing can prepare you for living in a new country. You just have to go and experience it and after months and months, it finally all starts to feel normal.

There’s so much I could say about our 15 months here. To sum it up, it’s been a refiner’s fire. The pressures and stress we’ve experienced has reached down into our deepest failings and boiled them up to the surface. As a result, we have grown, been humbled, made positive changes, become stronger, and drawn closer to Christ. We have come to better understand what things are most important in life and how to let go of what isn’t. We still have a lot to learn, but truly, this experience has been so good for our family!

I reflect back to almost 2 years ago now when we first heard about this job offer. The message I continually felt as I pondered and prayed about our decision was: “HARD. IS. GOOD.” God was not lying when he warned us that this was going to be hard. But he was also so right about the good part. I know I've said it all before, but I'm going to say it again. Hard really IS good! I can’t think of any other way that we would have learned the lessons we have learned, or grown in the ways we have grown, unless it was through these trials that tested our limits and caused us to rely on the Lord. I keep having this repeating thought as I think about life and decisions and paths that we can take: Don’t ever turn down a great opportunity because you’re afraid of leaving your comfort zone, or because you know it will be hard. Staying put is really easy and comfortable. Change is hard. Walking into the unknown is HARD. But it’s a surefire way to grow! It’s a promise of lessons, adventure, faith-building, and a whole new perspective that you can’t even imagine yet.

I am so glad that we took a completely crazy leap of faith and walked into the dark two summers ago. The only things we knew about our future was that I would be having a baby in a foreign country, and that Mike would be constantly traveling for work while I stayed home with four kids ages five and under. At times, it has REALLY SUCKED. And been so hard. But through it all, God has protected us, walked with us, and taught us. It’s been a life-changing experience that I am truly grateful for.

In the last couple months, I have felt more peace, gratitude, joy, and happiness than I have in a very long time. My heart is filled with calm and I’m in a really good place right now. While I still struggle A LOT, (increasingly the more Mike travels), I feel this great source of support and comfort. I have really felt sustained by God’s love. And I also feel this overwhelming love for my family. I’m so grateful to have each one of them. Remember how I said I learned what is most important here? Well, I’ve learned that peace in my home, and the well-being of my family is more important than ANYTHING else. Family love within the home really is the MOST priceless, joyful gift in life. Nothing compares. And nothing is worth threatening it over. At times (especially in those most stressful moments), I really suck at it, but my GOAL is to always remember my vital role in creating that peace in my home. And I will continue to work at keeping my number one priority cultivating that spirit of love.

And now for a recap of the last several months (It’s been a long time since I posted!)

Summer was a mix of happiness and hot mess. The vacations were excellent. We had some of the most beautiful moments together as a family which we all absolutely loved. In between that was a lot of UGH. Mike was constantly gone on long work trips, all the kids were home on summer break, I was experiencing a lot of depression and anxiety, and we seemed to be constantly sick. UGH. But thankfully we all made it through alive, and like I said…many important lessons learned and we are doing really well right now.

One of the greatest blessings has been the boys starting a brand new school in September. It has the biggest answer to prayer! This new school is top-notch, with amazing teachers, and all the resources the boys need to succeed. I'm grateful BEYOND WORDS for this blessing. They are so much happier than last year and my mountain of stress and daily anxiety has taken a HUGE plunge. What an enormous relief it is to have the right sort of support for your kids' needs!

What's also fun about the school is that it's right on the edge of a gorgeous forest filled with hiking trails. I've loved taking the kids on walks and picnics in the woods after drop off and pickup. Just an added blessing that makes my heart happy.

As far as vacations went, here’s the low-down on all our trips over the last four months:

In August, we got to go to Switzerland. We loved every minute. Our hotel was in the alps, we hiked through fog, cow herds, and waterfalls, we rode alpine slides overlooking gorgeous views with the kids, we walked through mountainous caves. It was so gorgeous and fun!

One of the days, we rode a lift to the top of this beautiful mountain peak overlooking the breathtaking valley. After hiking along the grassy, wildflower-filled hills, we were about to take the lift back down, when Mike told me I had to take a different way down. I was like, “huh? What are you talking about?” Then he was like, “We’re going to rent one of these scooter bikes and you are going to coast all the way down this mountain and meet us at the bottom.” Then I was like, “Are you sure you don’t want to do it?” and he was like, “Yep. I definitely think you would enjoy it more.” And I was like, “Awww, you big sweetheart. But I still feel guilty,” then shortly after, I was like, “But I guess I’m home alone with the kids all the time, while you are out traveling the world so maybe I’m not feeling THAT guilty. Hehehe.” So, then my awesome husband took all the kids while I rode this scooter bike thing down an entire Swiss mountain top all the way into town at the bottom of the valley. For a whole hour, here I was completely alone on this windy little mountain road (entirely downhill) amidst the most breath-taking views imaginable. I coasted past all these little farm houses, cows roaming in the grass, cottages, barns, rivers. It was soo beautiful, peaceful, and seriously one of the funnest things I’ve ever done. I’ll never forget it.

Everything about Switzerland was just wonderful and we’d love to go back before we move out of Europe. Side note: You know what I kept thinking while I was there? That the Swiss Alps really reminded me of the Wasatch mountains back in my home state of Utah. While Utah mountains aren’t as lusciously green, Park city rides are a lot cheaper, just sayin’.

In September we had the opportunity to take another once-in-a-lifetime trip, to Italy. We saw Milan, Lake Como, and Rome. Milan’s Duomo and castle were so unique and amazing. Walking around Lake Como was very beautiful. And Rome. Holy moly! The Vatican, the Colosseum, the Treve fountain, the Spanish steps, and my absolute favorite, The Forum. Wow. Wow. Wow. Rome was mind-blowing . I can’t really describe the feeling of walking among these enormous ancient structures that are just beyond the scope of modern architecture… And trying to comprehend the rich history behind it all – most touching was thinking about walking where ancient apostles first preached about Christ. It was so powerful and amazing to me. I am so very grateful that we got a chance to see it!

The next big trip came in November. Here’s the story.

A couple months ago, I pushed aside my guilt and uncertainty and made the decision to go on my first-ever mom-only girl’s trip to celebrate my youngest baby weaning off breastmilk (and also my 32^nd birthday). So my friend and I spent about a month planning and booking a trip to Krakow, Poland.

Two days before the anticipated day, we got a text informing us that the airline was on strike and our flight was canceled.

So we did what we had to do. We scrapped the plans, canceled the tours, and got a refund for flights and hotels. Maybe the guilt and uncertainty really did mean something? For example, that I was never meant to have a mom-only trip because a terrible accident might happen while I was away, and that I was supposed to wait another 6 years to do this sort of thing, when my two oldest could legally babysit and my youngest was in 2^nd grade and wouldn’t miss me so much, and…wait! There were still options weren’t there? Was it still possible to go somewhere?

For fun, we looked up interesting destinations within a five-hour drive. I think it was the day before that we decided on a road-trip to Amsterdam. So off we went in my minivan!

We spent about 2 full days exploring the city by bike, boat, and foot. It turned out to be such a fun, wild adventure. First of all, Amsterdam is a little crazy. There are bikes whizzing EVERYWHERE, and they don’t stop for anything. There is also marijuana EVERYWHERE. We literally smelled it every place we went and saw TONS of high people. Also, there is a lot of inappropriate paraphernalia EVERYWHERE. (Apparently, the red-light district is a huge tourist draw there, which I didn’t know beforehand), so yeah, it all made for an *interesting* atmosphere as we navigated the city, but we seriously had the best time. We ate delicious pancakes, went on a river cruise, biked through rain and shine all over the city, shopped at local markets, saw an original windmill, laughed our heads off through a flight simulation ride to “see” all of Holland, sat in a big, scary swing at the top of a building that swung over the edge, went to church at the gorgeous St. Nicholas cathedral on Sunday morning, and visited many interesting tourist sites.

The highlight of the trip happened on the last day, when thanks to the determination of my friend, we managed to get tickets to the Anne Frank museum through her dedicated effort of acquiring online tickets (long story, but you usually have to buy them months in advance because it’s near impossible to get them the day-of, but we got super lucky).

That last morning, we explored more of the city listening to Anne Frank’s diary on Audible, so that we felt more prepared when we showed up at the museum. It was so powerful walking through Anne and her family’s actual hiding place behind the original bookcase. To see the marks on the wall where the children’s heights were recorded during their stay there, to see the pictures cut from magazines still hanging on the walls. Wow. Many emotions and thoughts that I continue to contemplate four weeks later.

It really was such a neat, fun, super cool trip and I’m so glad I didn’t let my mom guilt keeping me from taking a little break for a weekend.

Oh, and the story didn’t stop after our trip. When I got home, I was talking to Mike about Anne Frank’s house, when he casually mentioned: “You know her other house is a couple blocks away right?”

WHAT?

So, we took the family on a walk and down a couple blocks from our house, there it was: the house the Frank family moved to Amsterdam from when Anne was four.

Living in Germany sure is an interesting adventure.

Our next family trip we took was to Bavaria where we celebrated Thanksgiving with really wonderful friends of ours who we met back in our Maryland days. We cooked Turkey dinner together, visited a beautiful little Christmas market, went on a double date, and just enjoyed hanging out at home. We also drove to the nearby town of Neuenschwand which Mike was really excited about. His ancestors came from South Germany, so it’s quite likely they were from Neuenschwand. I mean, come on, Neuenschwand! It was so fun to see how happy the trip made him.

At the beginning of December, Mike’s parents were able to visit for a week. We had such a wonderful visit together and the kids were so happy to be with Grandma and Grandpa. We visited Rudesheim and Strasburg for Christmas markets (Hooray for Christmas Market season!) and explored a couple local castles (Konigstein being our favorite with so many underground tunnels, caves, and passageways – so cool!!). Mostly, it was nice just enjoying time together at home as a family.

In between the big travels, we have visited local castles and villages on the weekends we’ve had together. It’s been a lot of fun exploring new places.

A few weeks ago, we drove down to Landstuhl, which is the little town I lived in for a summer when I was 14 (My 19-year-old sister and I went there together to help my military brother and his family with their three young kids). While there, we drove through the streets I used to explore with my sister. I got out and walked around the once familiar neighborhood – a park where I used walk to and practice throwing the discus, the street I lived on, the ice shop on the corner where I tried my first-ever Italian chocolate chip ice cream cone. It was so nostalgic! Most poignant was driving up to the castle on the hill. My 14-year old self looked dreamily at that castle from my bedroom window every single day. I walked up to it almost every day too, along a windy little path through the forest. That forest was my favorite place. I loved wandering around up there by myself and just pondering so many things. It was such an emotional time in my life because my dad had literally JUST passed away before I went to live there for the summer. Like, if I remember, the funeral was only a week or two before I took the flight to Germany. So I did a lot of thinking in those German woods. A lot of praying. A lot of pondering.

And now here I was SEVENTEEN years later, taking my kids up to these same emotion-filled woods. The sights, the sounds, the smells even, brought back so many memories.

After we all explored the amazing Landstuhl castle together (again lots of underground caves and tunnels-the coolest!) I took my boys on an adventure through the woods surrounding the castle. I took them to the same places I remember going running to with my sister. We ran around the trails, climbed the rocks, jumped through the trees, pretended we were ninjas on a secret mission – you know, all the things I love to do with my boys…It was so weird thinking that this place was SO magical and special to me those many years ago, and how I hoped with all my heart that I would come back someday. And now here I was with my own kids almost 20 years later. Weird. Beautiful. Grateful…I feel old.

Are we already nearing the end of December now? That feels impossible. The time here is going by weirdly fast. It’s scary how easily a month can pass. And now here Christmas is already next week.

Thankfully Mike has time off and I’m looking forward to quality family time, Christmas movies, egg nog, and hopefully the opportunity to ponder about the gift of our Savior. He has truly walked beside our family this last year. And beside me through all of my hot mess moments and beyond.

I hope all my friends near and far have a wonderful, blessed Christmas with those they love.

And now, how about a good old comical driving story to end this post…

A few weeks back, I was driving my kids to school. On the other side of the highway I saw the miles and miles of backed up traffic, with an accident clean-up crew as the culprit. After I dropped my boys off, I dialed an alternate route home on my phone and began my drive through a series of towns to avoid the highway.

Well, pretty soon I felt something was off with these GPS directions. Why was it taking me down these swervey, narrow roads that seemed to go on forever only to reach a dead end? Why was it taking me through the middle of a street market that led to a bunch of metal posts barring cars? Why did I feel like I was on roads that no minivan should be on?

But of course! My GPS was on bike mode. Isn’t it fun being prone to blunders? What a great way to explore never-before-seen parts of the city!

A few pictures from the last few months...

Switzerland: