Ten things we learned from Germany

Less than three months after my last post, we left Frankfurt. After almost two years, our time in Germany was complete.

In those last few weeks, when we knew time was running out, we did our best to live it up before saying goodbye.

We visited the favorite bakeries to buy the chocolate-filled, chocoalate-coated, and zucker donuts. We visited the Italian Ice and doner kebab shops. I took the kids running around my favorite loop through a beautiful park that weaved through the woods, passed apartment patios dripping in gorgeous flowers, and wound around a path surrounded by colorful kleingartens. 

We took one last trip to the Black Forest and bought a coo-coo clock. We took one last trip to Belgium and played in the ocean. One last trip to Austria.   

We visited the parks, forests, churches, castles, and palace grounds that we had come to love, all one last time.

 

As many days as I was able, I walked through my favorite place of all - the Frankfurt cemetery - to breathe in the trees, the beautiful stone angels, the silent church house, the pond, the sculptures of Christ, the intricate monuments, the flowers embracing tombstones in a hug of vines.  This was my place of refuge! (Isn't it beautiful?)

We truly loved our time in Germany. 

We loved the thickness of the trees, the green moss, the web of rivers tangled with stone, the monuments, the ghostly castles emptied of wood and torches, the food, the cozy villages, the bakeries, the centuries-old houses, the twinkling lights at night, the woodwork, the smell of burning branches, the Christmas markets. 

Yes, in between all that were some really stressful moments. Those moments taught us so much, increased our trust in God, and helped us become stronger. And our hearts are full from all of it: the learning, growth, challenges, adventures, fun, and magic!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, here we are another four months later, back in the states, reflecting on some of the many things Germany taught us. On a MUCH less serious note, here are 10 of those things:

1. We learned how to double park and back in and out of narrow driveways with ease.

    -You become an expert when it's a daily occurrence.

2. We learned how to have thick skin.

    -With strangers coming at you with lectures, reprimands, and swear words on a regular basis, you learn to brush things off, dish it back (respectfully), or simply ignore it after awhile.

3. We learned how to use the bathroom in any park or woods you could ever find yourself in.

    -With no public bathrooms at most parks, you learn to always keep toilet paper and hand sanitizer handy for the whole family. Just look for a bush - that's all you need!

4. We learned Mike is Turkish. 

    - Out of all the countries Mike visited, he may have felt most at home in Turkey. With his darker complexion, natural hairiness, and brown eyes, everyone assumed he was a local. And as it turns out, thanks to Family Tree, we know he actually has bloodlines from that region!

5. We both learned to be alone.

    -I never thought I'd be able to be alone for long periods of time without my husband and be okay with it. I've always hated being alone - especially at night! But it turns out, you get used to situations when you're forced to do it for a long enough time, and it becomes totally doable. As for Mike, he learned ways to pass the excessive amounts of free time while traveling through reading and working on projects. He also learned that visiting new countries is okay by yourself, but WAYYYYY better when you have your family with you. :)

6. Debbie learned to ask for help.

    -One of the MOST important lessons I learned was that I have the permission to get help for myself when I need it. I hope anyone who has a lot on their plate can understand this too - We can and need to ask for help! It doesn't make us weak, it makes us wise! We can hire a babysitter for 1 1/2 hours a day to help us put kids to bed, we can ask a friend to watch our kids while we go shopping. We can express our needs to those who can and want to help us!

7. We learned going 85-90 mph on a daily basis can feel completely normal. 

    -Many days taking my kids to school on the autobahn, I would look at my speedometer and be like, "oh, 85/90, weird, it feels so normal."

8. We learned that spraying graffiti is the equivalent to toilet papering someone's house here in the states. 

    -In Germany, graffiti is literally EVERYWHERE, including every park playground. At first, it made us feel like we were in a bad part of town or something, but then one of Mike's driver's explained that graffiti is just what every kid does for fun. Like EVERY kid. So it's not seen as that big of a deal I guess. 

9. We learned the habits of recycling and how to bag your own groceries at super-sonic speed.

    -Having to separate plastics, paper, and other trash every day has made recycling a habit! I hope to continue it forever now that it's ingrained so deep! As far as the groceries go, they don't bag your groceries in Germany, so you bring your own and learn to stuff them fast enough to keep up with the speedy checkers - wowza they're fast! It's like the checkout version of the autobahn...

10. We learned that living abroad is an amazing adventure, filled with unimaginable rewards and unexpected difficulties. 

    - Some of the hardest things can be some of the best things we do, with the best memories made! Would we do it over again? YES WE WOULD! Nothing can take the place of these experiences. They were life-changing!!

...

At the moment, we are now living in Washington D.C. in between our assignments. There's a lot to say about our next step, but you know the government, there's a lot of processes, paperwork, and clearances that take TIME, so we're waiting for our plans to be finalized to talk about it just yet. One thing we know for certain is that our Germany chapter is behind us, and another adventure lies ahead. Stay tuned!

 

Before the COVID hit the fan

Almost four months have gone by since my last post. Never has time rushed so quickly ahead that I can barely grasp on to it. I need to pin down some of the last months’ events before too many more weeks leap ahead and past memories will be left in the dust. 

…Plus in this strange, uncertain time, when many everyday freedoms are restricted and worries abound, it feels nice to travel back in time a bit.  

I’m imagining Christmas time. The last Christmas we knew we’d spend in Germany. I don’t think any nation on earth makes Christmas quite as magical as the Germans do.  This year, we went to around six Weihnachtsmarkt, enjoying fried pototoes with applesauce, roasted meats, fried mushrooms drenched in creamy garlic sauce, brotworst, gingerbread cookies, pumpkin soup with fresh cream, chocolate covered fruit, fresh cheeses, marzipan, colorful ropes of licorice, hot chocolate, kinderpunsch, and oh so much more. (If you can’t tell, we are REALLY going to miss German food, especially the delicious Christmas market goodies!)

We loved browsing all the decorative shops selling wooden Christmas decorations, star lights, candles, jewelry, windmills, leather goods, table coverings, hats, windchimes, and many other interesting items. And the kids enjoyed many musical Christmas merry-go-rounds and blinking ferris wheels. German Christmas Markets, we will miss you! And I hope one year, we can come back and enjoy you again! 

Our family Paige and Alissa visited just before Christmas and it was great to spend time with them. After showing them our favorite local castle (Konigstein), we spent a day in Cologne, Dusseldorf, and then back home for Christmas Day, which was filled with lots of presents, playing, and happiness all around.

Before they left back home, we took them to our favorite Frankfurt light show at the local Palmengarten (which is a huge botanical garden in the city that’s decked out in twinkling light displays during Christmastime) and then spent another day at Heidelburg Castle and an afternoon exploring the historical town of Wurzberg, one of the oldest cities in Bavaria. We all had an awesome time!

 

 For New years, Mike and I did what we always do on New Year's. Nothing. Haha. But we did take this 2020 picture, so there's that...

Friends of ours did invite us to come over to their high rise apartment to watch fireworks at midnight. Mike wasn't up for losing sleep, but me and the boys were! We actually did go to bed early and then j woke up right before midnight. I'm glad we did, because the fireworks were amazing! We could see all of Frankfurt from up there. It was really cool! 

 In January, we took a family trip to Garmisch, Bavaria. Our goal was to experience the snowy Alps, do some hiking, and most important of all, investigate what all this talk of tobogganing was about. We’d heard some stories about it being wild and crazy, so of course, we had to give it a shot.

On our drive there, we stopped at this really cool castle on the top of a mountain, with a long (terrifying) bridge that stretched across the gorge. After hiking from one end of the bridge to the other, we explored the crumbling castle ruins. I think this might have been my favorite castle we’ve seen yet. It felt like an abandoned dwarf kingdom and I expected Gollum to crawl out from a rocky Cliffside at any moment. It was called Ehrenberg Castle. The stuff of fairy tales! 

When we got to Garmisch, we stayed at a military hotel, where everyone spoke English, which was cozy and comfortable in a way we hadn’t felt in a while– like visiting home.

The next day, we did some hiking around a beautiful river, up to a waterfall. Hiking as a family…It’s the best thing. 

Afterwards, we checked out the base of the ski lift where we hiked around a frozen lake. Eerily cool  sounds we’ve never heard before echoed across the ice as sounds from all sides of the lake ricocheted to our ears and bounced off one another. We had a lot of fun throwing rocks, breaking ice, and listening to the unique music of frozen reverberation. (I wish you could hear it better in the video)

The next day was Toboggan Day. Dressed in snow clothes, we rode the lift up to the highest point in all of Germany to a ski resort called Zugspitze. From the top, we could see the bumpy peaks of all surrounding mountains. It was awe-inspiring!

 

Next, we discovered that the toboggan situation was not exactly how we imagined it would be. We had pictured lifts taking us up hills that we’d be able to slide down on with our kids. But, we quickly discovered that the only hill safe enough for kids to ride down did not have lifts and would require a good amount of hiking. All the other hills were apparently super scary and only for experienced adults. 

So, we started off on the small hill, taking kids down one at a time, and hiking back up, many times pulling them behind as they rode up on their little toboggans. I guess, for the KIDS, there was a lift after all. 

 

After a while of this, we were EXHAUSTED, so we took a break for lunch inside the resort. The kids were  all sorts of tired, pestering one another, screaming, crying,  and Mike and I questioned whether or not this whole thing was such a good idea after all. 

But we were determined to try one more thing before throwing in the towel and heading home for the day. Each of us had to try the REAL tobogganing, down the super scary hills. So we took turns. I stayed inside the resort with the kids and Mike went first. 

Now, the toboggan rental lady warned us about the super scary hills. She explained it could be extremely dangerous if we’d never done it before. But Mike and I had skied and snowboarded a good amount. We weren’t worried. How bad could it be?

After about 40 minutes ish, Mike returned out of breath with a wild look in his eye.

“Wow,” he said panting, “That was NOT for kids.” 

He then explained tips he had learned from trial and error to prevent me from tumbling into a snow pile, flying off the trail and down the mountainside, and/or meeting my untimely death. 

Feeling a little freaked out mixed with overjoyed excitement now, I took his toboggan and away I hiked to the trail head. 

First, I slid down. Weeeee! And realized I had gone down another kiddy hill which I had to hike back up again. (Are you serious? Ugh). Haha, classic Debbie moment. 

Second, I found the real trail head, where other terrified adults were waiting to go down. One guy who said he was visiting from Texas said this was his third or fourth run and explained how terrifying it was. He warned me to keep my feet flat on the snow as I went down in order to keep my speed as much in control as possible. 

When it was my turn, I looked down the steep hill. Let me take a moment to explain why Tobogganing is so wild and crazy. 

The toboggan trails go down an entire mountain, exactly as a ski slope does. But the difference is, there is NO way to stop, or many times, even slow down. So you are riding on your butt, facing straight down the entire way, at crazy high speeds. This particular trail was especially steep so once you committed, you’d be flying downward for about a mile or more, with no way to get off or pause or take a breather. 

So away I went with a scream and a holler!  It was so fast and intense, bumpy and blinding and cold! With every attempt I made to keep myself in control by putting my feet down flat against the ground, icy snow clouds puffed into my face making it impossible to see. So I tried to just ride it out as much as possible without breaking. 

It was terrifying, dangerous, way too fast for comfort, and THE FUNNEST THING EVER. I loved every second. 

After the first run, I rode another lift to the second run. This time, there was no one on the toboggan trail and it looked as though no one had been there all day. The path was perfectly groomed with not a single toboggan imprint. Being separated from all the skiers and snowboarders, it was quiet and still. I looked across the miles and miles of snowy mountain ranges on that perfectly clear, blue sky day. I felt like the only person on the top of this gorgeous peak. It was an incredibly feeling. I crunched through the snow and climbed onto my toboggan. It began to slide, etching the first trail down.

How can I explain that ride? It was much longer than the first and much more secluded. Without the ruts of previous toboggan riders, in addition to practice with my first run, snow clouds in the face were much less bothersome and I felt a lot more comfortable.  I had my own giant snowy slide that went on for miles. It was fast and furious and peaceful and beautiful. I just laughed and screamed and made lots of sounds the whole way. It was one of the neatest experiences ever. I want to cry thinking about it. It was that cool! 

When I returned to Mike and the kids, we gave each other one more turn down the first run before deciding we better not push the kids’ patience too long. Meltdowns were imminent. So, after an exhausting, exciting day, we headed home. A great memory for the books. 

In early February, I had the opportunity to fulfill a dream I’ve had for a long time. I’ve always wanted to take my Mom on her first cruise. A couple years ago, Mike and I planned a cruise to South America with Mike’s parents, but when it was time to go, oh! I was pregnant. And my OB warned that Zika virus was a risk, so I didn’t want to take any chances and stayed behind.  Well, the cruise gave me a voucher, which was expiring this Spring, so I had to use it or lose it. It was the perfect opportunity to take my mom! 

We had a wonderful time together. As one of ten kids, it’s always really special to be able to get one on one time with her. We played mini golf, took walks around the deck, ate delicious food, explored Key West and Tulum, watched performances, and made a whole lot of great memories! A highlight for me came one night on the ship as we were sitting down to dinner. My mom suddenly realized something. “Oh! Today’s your dad and I’s 50^th wedding Anniversary!” It’s funny, because I had just been thinking of my dad a moment before, feeling as though he was near (He passed away nearly 20 years ago now). Just then, the MC began singing a song to celebrate anniversaries on the ship. The song he sung was one of my dad’s all-time favorites – Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond. It was a really special moment and I was so grateful that by a twist of fate, my mom was able to celebrate her 50^th wedding anniversary in a special way. 

 After the cruise, life went back to normal. One of Mike’s work trips took him to Krakow, Poland, where he was able to walk around the city and tour Auschwitz, which was really impactful and probably hard to describe with words. A few of the pictures he took on that rainy day below: 

 

In the weeks that followed, we visited a few places around Frankfurt, including an old fortress along the Rhein River, a nature park, forests near our house, things like that. 

We had some family and friend visits as well, which was awesome!

Our friend Dano Gunderson stopped by on his way to Africa for a work trip. We knew him and his wife from our D.C. days. It was great to see him again! We took him downtown, went out to eat at our favorite German restaurant, walked around a delicious food market, and of course, got some Italian ice cream. We all enjoyed his company!

My brother Jake was also able to stop in for the day on his way to Sudan. He told the kids all sorts of interesting stories from his life and after they went to sleep, we sang songs together, like we used to growing up. I’m really grateful he was able to stop in and make some memories with his little sister. :D

Mike’s mom also got to visit just before Covid-19 had taken hold in Germany. Mike and I had planned a four-day trip to Jerusalem and Carly agreed to come watch the three older kids, so we could just take the baby. 

As soon as she got here, we learned that Jerusalem was sealing its borders and not allowing anyone from Germany in. We were super disappointed, but then again, we recognized how important it was to be safe and together as a family in such uncertain times. 

We ended up spending quality time with Grandma Neuenschwander and traveled to a few local places instead. The kids were in heaven and adored their time with their beloved Oma! 

Carly and I also went to our first Easter egg festival in the local village of Eltville. It was really lovely! We enjoyed eggs of all sizes that were decorated so beautifully. It was really neat to walk through and admire the artistry, but very hard to decide which ones to buy. Afterward, we stopped in the village for some ice cream of course :). 

 

 

Before she left, Grandma agreed to watch the three oldest so Mike and I could take a mini-vacation to a neighboring village for one night. We drove to Lieser where an old castle-like palace has been converted into a hotel. With Mike’s points from traveling so much, and because it’s slow season, he was able to get the emperor suite for free!! I was shocked when I walked inside our room.  Was this real? I couldn’t stop laughing at the ridiculousness of how amazing it was. During our stay, I tried to do everything possible to enjoy the room fully, from quietly contemplating in all of the sitting chairs, to eating dinner at the magnanimous table, to studying the paintings and chandeliers, to watching television from the jetted tub. We also had a great time swimming in the pool and exploring the hotel corridors. It was like a museum!

That first day there, we explored the village of Lieser, hiked up to the church, did a little shopping, drove up to a castle overlooking the village, wound up and down the streets, beside the old tilted houses, and walked along the river. (The sidewalk along the river was caked in mud which is the reason I slipped and fell forward on all fours. Okay, so I was also answering a text at the time, which I think may have been why Mike kept laughing, but anyway, luckily no one was hurt.  I just resumed walking with bruised knees and muddy pants, no big deal.) 

The next day, we drove to a nature hike along a gorge in Luxembourg. Mossy rock caves, trickling waterfalls, cliff sides, creaking trees. These are the moments that feed my soul! We all enjoyed it, including baby. 

 

I can’t even describe how wonderful it was to take two days off and spend some quality one on one time with my spouse (and sweet baby girl). It was so good to break away and be able to explore freely, talk freely, and enjoy freedom freely! Haha. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom. I love my kids with all my heart. I just also think it’s good to experience breaks on occasion. And I’m so grateful we were able to get away while it was still safe, and before everything went on lockdown. 

In the days after we returned home, the Covid-19 pandemic became more and more serious. Mike’s mom ended up returning home earlier than planned after she was woken up in the middle of the night by friends from home warning her that President Trump was talking of travel bans into the U.S. Suddenly, Mike’s work trips were being canceled. Then the kids’ school was canceled. Everything stopped all at once and life slowed to a halt. 

And now, here we are into April and the world is in turmoil. People are dying across the globe and it’s a very scary and sad time for many people.  

We’ve had all sorts of emotions. Life is such a weird mix of fear, sorrow, joy, gratitude, guilt, and worry. It’s hard to know what to say or do. Everyone is experiencing something different in the world and we are all so aware of it because of news and social media. 

Our experience since the lockdown has surprisingly been a huge rest and relief.

When everything first began to get serious and terrible stories constantly broadcasted over the news, I was filled with a lot of anxiety and dread. With the kids all home from school, Mike still traveling at first, the fear of sickness, even death reaching loved ones, everything felt like a dark, scary cloud with a gloomy future ahead. I remember reading a scripture from the Book of Mormon during that time that really reached my heart. It was Mosiah 24:14 which said: “And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.”

I can truly say that during this time, I can plainly see how the Lord has lifted our burdens so we can’t even feel them. 

Mike’s trips were all cancelled, so for the first time in two years, he hasn’t been traveling. We’ve gotten to spend every day together, sharing in the house work and spending time with the kids. We’ve been able to give each of them way more one-on-one time than normal. We have shared some of the best memories in the simplest of things, such as playing games together, going for walks, or simply talking heart to heart. It’s been such a weight off all of our shoulders simply being a complete family and working together. I’m so full of gratitude for all of God’s hidden blessings, such as the fact that all this lockdown is happening in Spring, when we can still get out of the house to go on walks, runs, bike rides, or even just play with chalk in the driveway. 

I know many people are really struggling in a lot of ways and we have been fasting and praying and hoping that burdens will be lifted throughout the world. Looking ahead can feel overwhelming, with so many questions unanswered and possible scenarios that may unfold. But we are trying to have faith that God is watching over us because we know He loves all His children. We are taking things one day at a time, trying to enjoy this time together, teach the kids a thing or two while school is out, stay busy, find simple ways to serve others, keep praying, and have hope in a wonderful, bright future ahead!