The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly ID Badge

Our first week here, I was driving us back to our apartment thinking about everything that just happened.

About 45 minutes earlier, our whole family piled in the car to accompany Mom in her quest to locate a local gym. I had heard about the gym from a community support liaison. Apparently, it was really affordable, had childcare, and offered a variety of classes for adults and kids. Anyone who knows me well knows that one thing I need in order to thrive wherever I live is a gym with childcare. Sure, it was only our first week here. Sure, I was almost 8 months pregnant and could barely walk at times. Sure, there were probably a dozen other things that probably were of greater priority, but I was determined to drag Mike (and by default the kids) with me to scope out where this gym was at and sign up for a membership as soon as I could - that way at least something in my life would feel routine and familiar. I needed Mike for emotional support if I had no idea what to do when faced with a mysterious traffic signal. Once I knew what to expect, I would feel more comfortable driving myself in the future.

As I drove deeper into the bustling downtown, Mike gripped his arm rest tighter and tighter while my heart pounded faster and faster. None of the road signs made sense and all of them seemed to warn of impending danger – X’s with lightening across the middle, X’s with arrows, bikes with X’s through them. What’s with all these X’s????

There were trolleys and trains and buses and cars crissing and crossing every which way, dotted lines on the road, solid lines on the road, and what do you know? X’s on the road, oddly enough, crossing out lines on the road. Lines, signs, symbols, lights. Why are there so many instructions EVERYWHERE?

I tried to stay calm as I followed my GPS into a busy business strip, scattered with scores of people eating dinner at their outside tables, and an endless row of parked cars on either side of me.  Bikers weaved up and down the sidewalks. As I slowly inched forward amid the chaos, one of those bikers, coming straight at me on the road, halted dramatically, looked at me sternly, and with a swift wave of her hand ordered me to move over. I put my hands up – move over where? There were parked cars “over” and I would hit them!

Nevertheless, fearing the rebuke of her scorn-filled scowl, I reluctantly edged to the right and continued forward.

After holding our breath for two or three more tightly-squeezed blocks, Mike pointed out the window, “there it is!” A building wedged amidst businesses which bore the sign of the long-sought-after gym at last.

“Do you see parking?” I asked.

“There is no parking,” came the reply, “There’s bike parking.”

I kept on driving. One block, two blocks, three blocks. Cars back to back and wall to wall. Absolutely no parking, whatsoever.

“Should I try to circle around?”

“Are you kidding? Let’s go home.”

“But I almost died getting here! I don’t want to waste this death trip!”

*Me looking for more parking and knowing it is was a sad, futile pursuit.

Me again, resigning to defeat: “Okay let’s get the heck out of here.”

So there I was - back to driving us all home. I was thinking about how completely out of my comfort zone I was. How different everything felt – how things that used to be so routine and easy, now seemed impossible, even just getting to the gym.

Then I felt a drop of insight that made me feel consoled somehow. “You know,” I told Mike, “I am totally out of my element here – like, I’m like super uncomfortable, and I would never choose to feel this way…but I don’t think there’s any other way to grow. I think living here is definitely going to make me stronger in ways I never would be, unless I was forced into it.”

Back in Wyoming, when we were trying to decide if we were going to take this job, there were so many unknowns. I really had no idea what this experience was going to be like exactly, but there was one thing I WAS sure of: It was going to be hard. God made that known to me in a lot of different ways – the message I felt over and over again was, “It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to make you grow, and I will be with you.”  

During that decision time, I prayed A LOT, and turned to scriptures and religious sermons available through my church. One sermon that I happened to stumble upon was called “Do We Trust Him? Hard is Good” by Stanley G. Ellis. It ended up being one of the most important insights into helping me move forward in faith. Here are a couple short excerpts:

“Looking back, I learned some of the best lessons during the hardest times…”

“It seems clear that hard is good!...”

“Hard makes us stronger, humbles us, and gives us a chance to prove ourselves…”

“Hard is part of the gospel plan. One of the purposes of this life is for us to be proven.”

We are just beginning on this new adventure. We’ve been here only about three weeks, with a whole two years ahead. I don’t know what the future will bring, but in this short time, I can definitely see already that yes, we will face “hard” things. But I can also see how it’s going to be good for us. I feel an excitement of the ways that we are going to grow. I can see that I’ll have the opportunity to personally grow in ways I’ve always known I needed to, but would never subject myself to the uncomfortable price to gain it on my own.

The last couple weeks have probably been some of the most chaotic and stressful weeks of our married lives (The first couple months after we had the twins still reigns at the top). There have been countless appointments, phone calls, bus rides, and shopping trips as we have scrambled to get our kids registered for school, obtain necessary ID’s, stock up on groceries and household essentials, move for the third time in 2 months to our (finally!) permanent home, find me an OB, register me with a hospital, get to important doctor appointments, set up important doctor appointments (which many times result in automated messages in German which I don’t understand- am I leaving a message? Is this a wrong number?), find childcare during important doctor appointments, get the kids’ necessary immunizations, open up a German bank account, learn survival German sayings, figure out what’s where, and how to get there, and so on.

But what’s good is that I’ve learned so much already. And I do know that calmer seas are on the horizon. We are going to feel settled at a future date. If we can just get this sweet baby girl here safe and sound, get through the initial month or two, get all our home stuff delivered, and so on, everything will get a little more manageable one step at a time.

I also have to say, we’ve already enjoyed some really fun trips and activities. I’m so grateful we’ve been able to venture out amidst the chaos and begin to explore…So keeping the “hard” and the “good” in mind, here’s a summary of the last two weeks’ trials AND triumphs:

• We made it to Bad Homberg, a nearby city with some old castle grounds. Aside from checking out the remaining castle tower and the peaceful garden courtyard, we walked to the beautiful cathedral next door. When we entered and quietly admired the thousands of shining gold mosaic tiles along the walls and ceiling, the intricate stone work, vaulted ceilings, and stained-glass artwork, a sudden flood of haunting music began to echo through the church. It started slow and at first, I wasn’t sure what it was. But then, as it increased and filled the room, I turned around to see the organ pipes behind us. Someone happened to begin their practice just after we arrived. It was SO powerful and beautiful (and a little scary) that we all had goosebumps… Also I may have cried a little.



 

 

 

• After the gym trip debacle, I tried to find it once again, this time by bus while Mike watched the kids. It was MUCH easier than driving. While I was at it, I met a friend downtown. We checked out the gym together and I got super excited to join because they do offer tons of kids and adult classes, childcare, swimming pool access, and gym privileges for the whole family, all for an amazing price. Yes! On the way home, my friend and I stopped at an outdoor café for some Italian ice cream, which was lovely!
• Before church last Sunday, we decided to ride the train downtown to check out how long it would take to get the boys to school via U-Bahn if necessary. An elderly lady started chastising me and the boys in German, then laughing, then mumbling. I soon realized she was confused (poor lady). I also realized she was now following us off the train and all around the station as we politely tried to “lose” her. On a positive note,
  I did get the chance to practice a saying I learned last week: "Ich verstehe nicht!"
• I got my hair cut and bought shampoo and conditioner conducive to the hard water here- we all know that’s a big deal.  I also went to a Zumba class with friends.  That was really fun!
• A wonderful woman from my church watched my kids while I went to a last-minute doctor appointment. People are so kind!
• We met up with great friends who we knew from when we lived in DC years ago. They are currently living in Brussels, and it was so fun to catch up with them. They offered to babysit our kids so we could go shopping together. It was so nice being able to get things we needed, without the help of little ones 😊. People really are so kind!
• We made a quick, but fantastic trip to Brussels, visiting the same friends above.  It was WONDERFUL hanging out with them seeing the beautiful city where they live. We shopped, explored one of the first-ever-built indoor malls, ate chocolate, tried Belgian waffles, ate more chocolate, saw the famous "Manneken Pis", walked through the town square, admired beautiful architecture, listened to bells from inside the cathedral, toured a magical train museum, ate a delicious lunch, stopped at a chocolate factory where we ate MORE chocolate, and truly enjoyed our time with great friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Mike left on his first two work trips. I survived! (And without Wifi I should point out).  While he was gone, I:
• Took all the kids on a giant shopping/errand trip. We picked up bus passes, drove to the base to pick up house supplies and groceries, I took them all out to eat and we even sat down inside (Why am I mentioning this you ask? Because the old Debbie had the luxury of having her husband home all the time and would NEVER attempt to sit inside a restaurant with all the kids by herself - MUCH too risky for tantrums or embarrassing food-throwing incidents. But this was the new Debbie whose husband travels a lot and she’s going to do a lot of things by herself now).  4 ½ hours later, I managed to get the mountain of groceries AND all three kids up the stairs and into our apartment after a couple trips of loading the stroller and two little boys willing to hold the door open for me.
• Received our air shipment of home goods, unpacked all but two of the boxes, and discovered that we had packed VERY little of what we actually need right now. During this process I became more and more angry as I pulled out not one, not two, not three, but FOUR flower vases from the kitchen box. What the --- were we thinking? We didn’t pack warm coats for the boys, but darn it, we got plenty of vases in case we need to put flowers in them. Seriously though, we really messed up with the packing. See, our stuff comes in shipments. The next one will arrive in about 2 months, so the air shipment was SUPPOSED to contain the stuff we REALLY need. Let’s just say that in the hastiness of moving out of Wyoming, we really dropped the ball and didn’t plan so good. On a positive note, we can borrow (thanks to really nice friends here) or buy cheaply everything we’ll need to get by. Live and learn I suppose…
• Drove our kids back and forth to their new school all week. I’m feeling much more comfortable driving here, hooray! But I do worry on a daily basis how it’s all going to change when my giant mini-van arrives in a couple months and we have to hand over our more compact rental car – I’m starting to really love those proximity sensors it has that alert me when I get too close to anything.
• Parked our car inside the teeny, tiny parking garage we’ve been assigned here after circling our block and finding no street parking available. It was a nail-biting experience. I don’t think Mike has ever been more impressed by something I’ve done than the moment I told him I got inside without hitting anything. (A few days earlier when we saw it together, he didn’t even attempt getting the car inside since it appeared it would be impossible).
• Figured out how to get a taxi here, which I used last minute in a time of need. It was so easy and no big deal. Okay, so I know there’s thousands of people who would be like, “well DUH it’s no big deal,” but I’ve never ordered a taxi before - I’m not a city person, so for me, it felt like some sort of milestone.
• The most exciting (not) thing to have happened the last couple weeks was losing my purse in the city, only to realize this 5 hours later. What followed was one of the most agonizing 3 hours ever, where I sobbed thinking about all the highly-important documents that allowed me to travel and do anything here, credit cards, and 160 euros that were no longer in my possession. I also prayed my heart out. What happened next was the greatest miracle of miracles. When Mike went to the police station to report the incident, he discovered that an angel had found the purse and turned it in UN.TOUCHED. The police officer was stunned. “This NEVER happens,” he told Mike, “At the VERY least, people take the cash before turning in a purse.” Not one thing was missing. Not even my watermelon-flavored tic tac gum. Really, truly, people are kind…And so is God.

On a humorous note, I think I’ll end this post with a timeline of all the ID pictures I’ve had to take since we arrived. ID’s are required for pretty much everything we do here, so there have been a lot of photograph appointments. As you will observe (and don't even ask me why or how these pictures look the way they do), it’s interesting to note the slow decline of quality in my appearance as the pictures progress. I think this might be symbolic to our journey so far: Excited and happy at the prospect of living in Europe…getting to Europe and feeling slightly stunned to find out it’s more of a culture shock than expected…and finally…unraveling at times into a disheveled and disgruntled frazzle...😂 😂